Hurricane God Under Attack
by Elroy Willis -- November 27, 1998
WASHINGTON (EAP) -- The National Hurricane Center is currently under attack by several groups of fundamentalist Christians who take offense to replacing the name 'Gert' with 'God' in next years list of hurricane names.
"We think Gert is a silly and uncommon name," said Allen Wolbridge, spokesman for the National Hurricane Center. "We took a vote and decided to use 'God' instead of 'Gert,' and don't really have a problem with it," he said.
"We couldn't find a single person who knows or knew anyone named 'Gert' before, so we think 'God' is a much better name than 'Gert.'"
"This is totally unacceptable," said Walter Lamb, president of Christians For God, in a recent interview.
"We stopped a company last year who tried to use 'God' as a brand name for one of their condoms, and we're just as determined to stop this idea of attributing God to a hurricane. We're serious about our mission to keep the word of God sacred," he said.
"Headlines such as 'God Kills Thousands In The Gulf' when describing a hurricane are just as unacceptable as 'God Prevents Disease' when describing condom use. We simply won't stand for such blasphemy," Lamb said.
"We don't see why we're getting so much opposition to the name change," Wolbridge said. "Using 'God' to name a hurricane is not blasphemy or using his name in vain, and we don't understand why other people are making such a big deal out of it."
"God once flooded the whole world and we give Him credit for it, so why not name a hurricane after Him?" Wolbridge asked.
"We wonder what the reaction to using 'Jesus' instead of 'Jose' might be for next year's hurricane names, but we're afraid to find out."