Religion In The News

Bowlers Smash Jesus to Pieces

by Elroy Willis -- February 28, 1999


KANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A local bowling alley turned into a brawl room last Saturday night when three bowlers attacked another man who was about to break the alley record for the most number of consecutive strikes in one day.

35-year-old Ted Richards, of Kansas City, was about to attempt his 43rd strike in a row when he was attacked by three other bowlers who grabbed his ball and smashed it to pieces with a sledge hammer.

Richards' bowling ball was custom made with a picture of a naked Jesus figure holding a bowling ball in his hands and bending over, ready to roll the ball.

"It was pure and simple blasphemy," said Lorne Jefferson, one of the men who attacked Richards. "He would rub his ball and say 'Please God I need another strike,' before rolling the ball."

"We're pretty sure he was rubbing Jesus' butt with his left thumb before he'd throw the ball," said Larry Powell, manager of King Louie West, where the incident took place.

Richards claims he received a message from God to paint a picture of Jesus on his bowling ball in order to get more strikes, but admits he embellished it a bit and left Jesus naked and added the bowling ball in Jesus' hands.

"From the first time I held my new ball, I had a feeling that the strikes would be plentiful," Richards said. "I've never had so many strikes before. Those men who attacked me were just jealous of the fact that Jesus is helping me and not them."

Although quite upset over the incident, Richards said he won't be pressing charges against the men who destroyed his ball. "Jesus taught us to forgive, so that's what I'm gonna do," he said.

"I intend to paint a new ball with the same picture, and thought of adding some angels too, but I think I'll have to find a new bowling alley which is a little more peaceful," he said.


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All (EAP) news stories are property of Elroy Willis and may not be reproduced without written permission. Contact me at: elroywillis@gmail.com